Today’s work was easy and quickly done—Hannah, Anna, and Freya are all in fallow periods of their relationships, while Allen and Lewis have yet to form the bonds that would truly make a lasting connection. As for Gabrielle, she has all but made her decision. It has taken her some time, because once the dreaded word is spoken aloud, it cannot be unsaid. I have been counseling caution, but it does seem that this will be a battle she chooses to fight.
Today, however, will not be the day that it begins, and so I returned to heaven with plenty of time on my hand. With Gabrielle’s difficulties on my mind, I decided to visit with Inca and discuss what the coming weeks may hold.
I found her with Eburnean, who greeted me warmly. “We have been talking about deep things, Asa’el,” they told me. “About the nature of danger and the ways in which passion leads to violence.”
“In fact, I was wondering what your opinion may be in this particular case, Asa’el,” Inca said. “You see, I have a charge who is coping with a stalker who may become violent. Do you think that the man who desires her so strongly feels real love, or that it is simply obsession?”
I was startled by such a complex question so abruptly, but I was not unwilling to join the debate. “All human emotion has two sides,” I said after a moment’s consideration. “That is the gift of free will—that the negative can be felt in tandem with the positive. It lends power to those emotions and those choices, and sometimes, yes, that power is used for evil. I would say that either side is possible—perhaps he only mistakes the feeling for love, or perhaps his regard is genuine, and he simply is incapable of curbing his selfish desires.”
Eburnean was nodding—perhaps I was reaffirming an argument that they had been making before my arrival.
“But all that you have shown me of love is that it is selfless,” Inca said to me. “So how can love drive one to harm the object of their affection?”
I thought of Peter then, with Freya, and of Nick, who though he would never raise a hand to his wife is hurting her nevertheless. “Love is far simpler than most believe it to be. All it really is, is sight and admiration of another. What makes it so complex and fascinating is that sometimes humans do not see one another clearly. One can look at another and see something that is not there, or they see some small part of a spirit and miss the rest, or they see only another’s love for them. This is all very well when the feeling is kept to oneself, but once a connection is formed and desire enters the mix, dangerous things can happen.”
“Thus the trouble can arise from a failure to see the other clearly, or else a failure of the desires to match on both sides?” Eburnean asked me.
“Yes, precisely,” I said. “Perhaps in the case of your charge, Inca, the stalker may see her imperfectly, and the danger would rise then from the moment he realizes his mistake—his disappointment may make him violent towards a woman who does not hold the same appeal to him as the one he imagined her to be. Or alternatively, he may see her perfectly well and grow angry when she refuses his advances. This anger could result out of despair, or embarrassment, either of which could weigh more heavily than his regard. Or—”
“All right, enough, brother!” Inca said, throwing up her hands. Eburnean was laughing.
I smiled an apology. “I have never really thought about these possibilities. We deal in a milder love, usually. Would you like for me to take a look myself?”
“Best not,” Eburnean said, giving me a sharp look.
I was surprised, and a bit disappointed. “May I ask why?”
For a moment they hesitated. “You have your own work to be concerned with,” they said at last. “I should not wish to displease your seniors again, now that you have come to peace again.”
Both Inca and I opened our mouths to protest, but Eburnean swept up one brilliant wing to stop us. “And,” they went on, “I should have thought that you had enough contact with the Fallen to last you.”
I felt a chill steal through me. “There is a Fallen involved in this case?” I looked at Inca, imagining her in the path of that invisible, vicious hatred, and I was not certain whether I wanted to lash out at the mere idea or hide underneath Eburnean’s wing.
Inca looked calm, though I could see some of the effort that went into that tranquility. “We are not yet certain, but it is possible. Perhaps a Resentment or a Desolation. Aalbiel, who is Eburnean’s immediate senior, is investigating now. If it is true, then she will deal with the creature, and then I will go back to work.”
I am relieved to know that my friend will not be facing such a thing. Eburnean is right, I have learned quite enough about the Fallen for now.
I did have another question, however. I turned to Eburnean. “Your senior goes into the field?” I am accustomed to senior angels remaining in heaven, coordinating the efforts of their juniors with the wisdom granted by the Readers.
“We are warriors,” Eburnean said simply, “and the fight is long. There may be rest but no reprieve.”
What a wearying thought! And yet a part of me was exhilarated, to know that I will always be a part of this long fight, until the battle is won at last.
Inca was soon called away for the sake of another charge, but she promised that we would talk about Gabrielle soon. I hope that the danger she chases does not come chasing after her, and that she can protect those whom she loves. Meanwhile the nature of love and the part it plays in dangerous action, as well as the names of the Fallen, linger in my mind.