Well, it took quite a bit of work, and likely more than it would have if I had been at my best, but I managed to convince Hannah to meet with Jack and talk to him. His anger about their disagreement faded days ago, and he has been reaching out to Hannah ever since, but she had not quite recovered from the hurt of the argument, and some of her father’s stubbornness in her kept her from replying. It has not helped that she has been very busy at the hospital. Neither has my absence helped at all.
Hatsumi tells me I must not blame myself for taking time to begin healing, but it is hard. I know that if I had been present for the argument, I would have been able to reconcile their differences much faster.
But I am to focus on the good. Hannah finally answered one of Jack’s phone calls today, and she agreed to meet him for coffee before her shift. I think the notion of a time limit on their encounter comforted her—she knew that if things went badly, she had an excuse to get away.
Not an encouraging start, but I was willing to take what I could get.
Jack was already waiting for her, and he got to his feet the moment he saw her. I was watching Hannah closely, and I saw the rush of relief and affection that ran through her before she tried to suppress it. I wouldn’t let her push it down entirely—there is still strong feeling between the two of them, and it is worth protecting.
They exchanged quiet greetings, cool on Hannah’s part, wistful on Jack’s, and Hannah let Jack kiss her cheek before she went to get something from the counter. I emphasized to her how warm his lips were, and how familiar and comforting he felt and smelled.
When she came back with her coffee, they talked lightly for a while—she asked after his job and he checked in on her friends. “They’re probably pretty mad at me, aren’t they?” he said, laughing a little.
Hannah looked at the table. “Hilary’s on your side, actually,” she said. That has been a source of tension between her and her friend.
Jack raised his brows.
Hannah sighed. “Look, Jack, I know. I know you have every right to choose how to raise Lily. I just thought—” She hesitated, and considered leaving it there, but I leaned in, urging her to be honest. She closed her eyes. “I hoped,” she corrected herself, “that I was—that we were in a place that I could—be a part of that.”
Jack took her hand and squeezed it. “I know. And I want that too, Hannah. But we just never talked about what that would look like, what it would mean for all of us. And it’s just such a big step…” He shook his head. “I overreacted. I felt like the school’s punishment was enough and you trying to ground her on top of that—” For a moment he was quiet, struggling with his own honesty. “I’m still trying to figure out this parenting thing myself, Hannah. And I think I took out my own insecurities on you, and I’m so sorry.”
His clear sincerity appeased Hannah, who after all wanted to make things right between the two of them. She covered his hand with her own. “Well, is it okay—can we figure it out together?” she asked, her throat tight.
Words failed him for a moment. He could only smile at her.
Emboldened by this, Hannah slid forward in her chair and squeezed his hands. “I know we have to talk about a lot of things first, and I know it’ll take work and that we need to take more time than the—shit, fifteen minutes we have left—”
They both laughed.
“But that’s what you want?” she asked, tears in her eyes. “Because it’s what I want, Jack. I want to consider us a permanent thing.”
He pushed up from his chair so he could kiss her across the table. “Yes,” he said softly. “I want that.”
She seized his face and kissed him more thoroughly, until someone walking by the table whistled softly and they broke apart, flushed and laughing.
Jack settled back into his chair. “You know,” he said, giving her hand a gentle shake, “if someone told me at the beginning of this year that I’d have a family by summer, I’d have laughed my ass off.”
Hannah wiped her eyes. “I know, it’s happening so fast,” she whispered.
“Life is short,” I whispered to both of them, “and time too precious to waste. You are right to treasure one another while you can.”
Hannah had to leave soon after that, but she promised to come to Jack’s house tomorrow night so she could see Lily and so that they could talk. I have every hope that those talks will go well.
There is still much to do, much to decide, but they are on the right path now. I cannot claim much credit, of course—all it took to bring them back together was to persuade them to put aside their hurt so they could feel the strong connection that is between them. But I am glad that I was there to see it.
Hatsumi is waiting for me—I must go.