I have been much occupied with Lewis for the past few days. Earlier this week, Sarah informed him that her parents were going to be in town and that they had invited Sarah and Lewis to join them for dinner. Because he could see how much it meant to Sarah, Lewis agreed, and since the moment he did, he has been in a mild state of panic.
It is one thing to admit that he wants a future with Sarah, and quite another to work out the details of that future. Lewis was convinced that he could not prove to Sarah’s parents that he deserves her, which dismayed me, because it means that there is still a large part of him that believes he does not deserve her.
“As with any kind of recovery, there are setbacks,” Brid reminded me. “It takes patience and persistence to heal, as much as rest and care.”
She is right, of course. But it is hard when you love someone to see that they do not love themselves.
In any case, I went with Lewis to that much-dreaded meal tonight, and it went better than he expected, though it would have been difficult for it to be worse. Lewis was perhaps a bit stiff and quiet, but between Sarah and I we managed to keep him from having a panic attack.
He liked her father right away, mostly because Tom is much like her, brisk and cheerful and clever. It was those two who carried most of the conversation, while Lewis and Sarah’s mother listened and observed. Sarah’s mother, however, Lewis found intimidating. She is a tall, thin woman with a stern face and a silent demeanor. Lewis found her impossible to read, and even for me it was difficult, for Laura Rawlins keeps much to herself.
But I found the key to her heart only a few minutes into the meal, while they were still deciding what to eat. Sarah declared that she was starving, and Lewis frowned, his attention suddenly all on her. “Didn’t you eat today?”
“Oh, yes, but there wasn’t a lot of time, so I only got about half my lunch.”
“Why? Was your boss bugging you again?” Lewis asked, his frown becoming stormy.
She touched his face. “I can handle Tony, don’t you worry.”
“If he’s keeping you from eating, Sarah—”
She laughed it off, but I was distracted by Laura lifting her narrow gaze to Lewis’s face. For a moment, her aura opened to me, and I could see that she read Lewis’s concern for her daughter, his wish to protect and care for her, and that this warmed her heart. That brief glimpse also showed me a woman whose kindness and compassionate, while not apparent, runs deep, and it reassured me very much.
I bent low over Lewis’s ear and murmured to him, “They will love you, because you love Sarah. Just show them what she means to you—what more common ground could you need?”
And so he did, and I was right. Perhaps Tom found him a bit awkward, and perhaps he stammered a few more times than he wanted to, but by the end of the meal it was clear to the Rawlins that there is a true and sincere bond between Sarah and Lewis. And to Laura, a few other things had come clear too.
They had a moment, just the two of them, while Tom went to get the car in the rain and Sarah ran to the restroom. Lewis was standing in awkward silence with Laura in the entrance—or at least, in silence he felt was awkward—when she said, “You do, you know.”
He glanced at her. “Ma’am?” (Tom insisted on being addressed by his name, but Sarah put up no such fight, and so Lewis chose to err on the side of respect.)
“Oh, Lewis.” She took his arm and squeezed it gently. “You are a good man, and you love my daughter. That’s more than enough to deserve her.”
He stared down at her, and abruptly all his fear of her went away. He smiled, and she smiled back.
And so they are friends, and I hope someday that they will be family. Because Laura is right—Lewis deserves it.