Lewis was a bit down today after his shift at the coffeeshop. It worried me a little, but both Brid and I were reasonably confident that this was not the depression returning. He has been doing very well between the antidepressants and the therapy, not to mention the stability of his job and his relationship. Still, I couldn’t quite identify the source of his blues this afternoon. It wasn’t a bad day—he has rather become friends with his coworkers, and there were no particularly unpleasant customers today. But I still had the feeling that whatever was troubling Lewis, his job had something to do with it.
When Sarah arrived at home—they have been spending most of their time at her apartment now, it being larger and nicer than Lewis’s—I was almost as glad to see her as Lewis was.
“What’s up with you?” she asked, only moments after they had settled onto the couch together.
“Nothing, I’m good.”
“Hmm,” said Sarah, frowning at him. “Work go okay today?”
“Fine.”
“Wow,” Sarah said after a moment. “Don’t knock me over with your enthusiasm there, buddy.”
He smiled, but shook his head. “I don’t know, hard to get excited about working at a coffeeshop.”
Sarah put the television on mute and turned to look at him, leaning her elbow on the back of the sofa. “So go work somewhere else.”
It was a simple suggestion, but it opened up something in Lewis’s mind, something he hadn’t known he was thinking about. He turned to her. “You know, I think I should. But I don’t just want to get just any job. I think I want to go back to school.”
This idea excited me, and Sarah seemed to agree entirely. She played it cool, though. “That would be good. What for, though?”
Lewis sighed and leaned back again. “That’s the thing. I don’t know. I still don’t really have any clue what I want to do.”
“What was your major in undergrad?” Sarah asked curiously.
“Communications.” He shrugged. “I took it because my friends were taking it, and because it was easier. I always knew I was going into the military anyway.” His brow darkened, but only for a moment, thankfully. He shook off the memories and looked at Sarah again—or perhaps it was the other way around. “But that leaves a lot of options.”
Sarah bounced up and ran into the other room, coming back with her laptop. She started it up quickly and pulled up a search engine. “ ‘What can you do with a communications major’,” she read aloud as she typed. Lewis leaned in as they looked together.
“Social media strategist—no, you suck at social media,” Sarah mused. “Event planner?”
Lewis smirked.
“Public relations specialist—you could join a company and cover up all their dirty laundry.”
“No, thanks,” Lewis said darkly. “Real estate agent. No, that’s just a fancy salesperson and I’m pretty well done with sales.” But then he tapped the screen thoughtfully. “Human resources—that might not be too bad.”
“Mmm, I don’t know,” Sarah hedged. “You’d have to deal with office politics all the time, and I think it would wear you out after a while. Interpreters—do you speak any other languages?”
“Nein,” he quipped, making her laugh. “Seriously, though, I took both French and German in high school and college and none of it stuck. And before you ask, I’m a sucky writer, so I can’t be a journalist.”
Sarah pushed the computer away. “Isn’t a communications major supposed to make you a good writer?”
“I told you it was pretty useless.”
She looked at him thoughtfully. “I don’t think so. You’re pretty good at verbal communications—once someone can actually get you to talk,” she teased him. “And you want to help people.” Suddenly she inhaled. “Lewis, have you thought about looking into being a therapist?”
He was startled by the idea. “Me on the other side of the couch?” He laughed, but there was a part of him that was intrigued by the idea.
“No, seriously.” Sarah grabbed his hand. “You know how the process works and how valuable it is. You don’t like working in groups of people, but one-on-one you’re very engaging. You’re a great listener. And you know what it’s like to struggle and to need someone else’s help.”
Lewis frowned, turning the idea over in his mind. It did appeal to him, but he was still unsure, and I could see that self-doubt was the source of his hesitation.
“You are not crazy,” I said to him. “Sarah is right, your own struggles will make you better able to help others. And isn’t it a lovely idea that you might be able to help others through their darkness the way you have come through yours?”
He took a breath. “Well, what would I have to do?” he asked, looking back at the computer.
He and Sarah spent the afternoon doing research and getting steadily more attracted to the idea. By the time I left, they were looking for online psychology programs.
I think, and Brid agrees, that this is precisely what Lewis needs. Shadows are like bad habits—sometimes, unless the hole they leave in one’s life is filled with something better, they come right back. A new goal, a new stage in Lewis’s life, will keep him occupied and hopeful. And I think this is just the right direction for him to take. It will not be an easy road, of course, but he will certainly not walk it alone, not when Sarah is as excited for him as he is for himself. No, I am very pleased with this opportunity for him, and I wish him the very best.