Is it not pleasant when one’s predictions about the future are proved correct? And yet there is always something that we do not know. I was right in guessing that Inca would be assigned to our young friend Kayla, to offer her protection in this dangerous time of her life. What surprised both of us was that Kayla has already been reaching out to others for help, and unbeknownst to any of us, has struck up something of a friendship with Mary.
It has been through the website, of course, which is beginning to get traction. Mary will now spend more than an hour every night participating in conversations with adolescents from her school. She gives advice on how to avoid self-harm (hold an ice cube in your hand until it melts; it’ll hurt, but it won’t damage you); how to tend to self-harm wounds (this cream is actually pretty effective at preventing scars if you put it on soon after the cut); how to deal with bullies (Don’t give them what they want. If they want you to be sad, get mad; if they want you to be embarrassed, hold your head up high. Make yourself a bad target and they’ll leave you alone); and how to come out to parents. On this last she had little wisdom to offer, as the only friend she has who is gay is Aaron, and he has yet to have that conversation with his parents. But where she does not have advice, Mary has a great deal of compassion and support, as do all of her friends, and most of the time that is enough.
It was certainly enough for CinderellaFail, who was first to join their chat. She and Mary talk nearly every night, and usually now they will talk privately, about family stress, homework, school drama, and their visions for the future. But now Inca and I know that CinderellaFail is none other than Kayla, reaching out for help just as Mary was. The interesting thing is, Kayla offers just as much compassion and kindness to Mary, though her words are clumsier than Mary’s are. With the anonymity of the chat reducing her vulnerability, Kayla is able to open herself a bit more than she has in the past.
The danger Inca must protect Kayla from is her stepfather, who has a severe drinking problem and is getting slowly more aggressive with his family. Thankfully there seems to be little risk of sexual assault, but physical assault is a possibility, and he already abuses Kayla with unkind words and demands. Just writing this is making me angry.
In light of all this, it is hard to think about love, but Mary is my charge, and I can trust Inca to look after Kayla. Still, I will be available to Inca for advice and assistance, and I know that she will keep me informed.
As for Mary, Danit has given me several names of young men she thinks might be good choices. They are all students at Mary’s school, most of them her own age. Of them, I believe that the best partner for Mary would be a young man named Jordan Metter. He is in Mary’s grade and already knows her a bit—they have two classes together. He has also been to the website a few times, though he has yet to join in on any of the chats.
I will have to bring the two together to know for sure if they would be a good match, but I have high hopes. I only wish I could bring hope and goodness and light to all of these young people, that I had the time and the power to do it. Like all of our brothers and sisters, I chafe at the length of this Fight. But like all of us, I take comfort that someday, it will end in victory, and all of us will be safe and loved at last.