All is well again, and I cannot tell you what a relief it is. Ramona and Jesse are again making progress, this time with more understanding between them. I am watching them very carefully, but I believe their relationship will develop more naturally now, with less need of my intervention.
Ramona contacted Jesse before going home from the encounter with the fire woman, and they met the very next day. There is a coffee shop halfway between Ramona’s apartment and Jesse’s house, and they met there, in a place where neither of them had been before. It was a deliberate choice on Jesse’s part, I think—he did not want to be anywhere that he had been before with Victoria.
After the stiff courtesies—hello, how are you; well, and you?—Ramona took a deep breath and set down her coffee cup. “I’m going to talk about uncomfortable things now,” she told him, her hands uncertain as she signed.
This made Jesse smile. He nodded, having expected this, and motioned for her to go on.
“I want to apologize for running away the other day,” she told him. “I shouldn’t have, but…” Her hands hovered motionless for a moment, the lack of signs signaling her anxiety. I came closer, radiating strength, and she continued, watching her hands rather than Jesse’s face. “I have had some really bad relationships. A lot of them, all in a row. And I thought… Well, I didn’t think I could face being rejected again.”
Jesse didn’t say anything. He was watching her strong, worn hands, a small frown on his brow.
“But I realized—with a little help,” Ramona said, and her mind flashed to the fire woman and her kind smile. The image gave her a bit of strength. “I realized I couldn’t be rejected if I never actually told you how I feel in the first place.”
Now Jesse was watching Ramona’s face. She had tears in her eyes.
“I like you a lot,” Ramona said, making the signs forceful, and she finally looked up at Jesse’s face. “I think you are wise, and soulful, and lonely, and lovely.” Each adjective came with a distinct, almost wistful motion. “And I want to spend more time with you. But if it’s too soon—with your wife, I mean—”
Jesse looked away at that, and Ramona stopped. I could feel her strength waning, and I whispered reassurances in her ear. You are doing wonderfully. Don’t stop now, don’t give up.
“I just want to know,” Ramona said, as soon as Jesse looked back at her. “If you don’t like me. In that way, I mean. So I can move on.”
Jesse’s emotions were in a bit of turmoil up to that moment, difficult for me to read. When she made that last sign, however, his eyes widened, and a flash of pain came clearly through to me. He reached across the table and took Ramona’s hand, holding it tightly.
Don’t go anywhere, he signed with his free hand, his eyes on hers.
The fear went out of Ramona in a rush, and a flush came to her cheeks. Her hand tightened on his, and she leaned forward, warmed with joy.
Jesse gave her a small smile. He let go of her hand so that he could sign with both of his. I think you are very brave, he said, despite your fear. I think you are kind, and deserve more happiness than you have had. I think you are beautiful. He held her gaze, and repeated the last word, sweeping his hand in a large circle before his face. Ramona went even redder. And you make me forget that I am lonely.
Ramona laughed and signed back, her hands moving more quickly as she gained in confidence. She didn’t speak aloud as she did so, aware of the others in the shop and unwilling to share her happiness with them. That’s not enough. I don’t want you to be lonely at all anymore.
Jesse reached for her hand again. It may take me some time, he signed with the other. Is it fair of me to ask you to wait?
Maybe not, she answered, but I don’t mind.
He smiled, his own thoughts brightening. He touched his mouth with his fingertips and extended his hand from there. It is the sign for “thank you”, but he made it look also as if he were holding out a kiss to her. Aglow with happiness, Ramona brushed her fingertips just lightly over the place his lips had touched.
So. They will be all right, I think.