Inca called me away from a phone conversation with Ted and Cole today to tell me that Gabrielle was on her way to visit Nick. I was surprised, as I had not been aware that she had such plans.
“As far as I know, she didn’t,” Inca said with a sigh. “But she skipped work today, packed a bag, and was on the road in minutes. I did warn you that we would need to be light on our feet for this one, did I not?”
She did. So I changed my own plans and found Gabrielle again just as she was pulling into the driveway of Nick’s house. Inca left the car to meet me, shaking her head. “She’s a reckless driver sometimes,” she explained, “but no close calls this time.” There was exasperation in her eyes and her voice, but she also wore a fond smile—already she likes our daring, flighty charge very much.
“She should be safe enough now. What is her state of mind? Is she here because she is upset about something, or—?”
“See for yourself,” Inca said and bid me farewell.
I did, sweeping down to join Gabrielle as she jumped up the porch steps. She seemed cheerful enough, and excited to see Nick, though not overly so. I felt that she was more avoiding something back at home than moving towards him.
Still, she plunged into the house eagerly, calling out his name.
He emerged from his room, surprised, but very glad to hear her voice. “Hey,” he said, catching her as she lunged into his arms. “What—” His question was cut off by a flurry of kisses, which he was not inclined to interrupt, but he finished when she finally stepped back, “brings you here?”
She grinned. “You, silly. What else?”
“You know, there are these nifty things called phones these days, surely you’ve heard of them?”
Gabrielle waved off the implication and collapsed onto the sofa. “I figured you’d just be studying, and if you had plans I’d just tag along with you. And if I can’t, I’ll just hang out here. I can entertain myself.”
“Well, that’s fine with me, though you’re quite a distraction.” Nick settled into his chair, picking up a pencil and twirling it in his fingers while he studied her. After a moment he said, “Everything okay?”
He does know her well. She jumped to her feet, protesting that she was fine, and went off in search of snacks. Soon she had settled in with a book and a bowl of chips while he went back to his homework—they are both graduate students, though he is doing most of his work online. But almost half an hour later, she put the book down. “So my dad’s been bugging me again,” she said.
Nick, who was not surprised to hear her say so, turned his chair around. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. He keeps saying that he’s worried about me, but…” Gabrielle sat up and shook out her long hair, her eyes tight with strain. “I think he’s just worried that I’m going to do something stupid.”
Nick raised one eyebrow. “Isn’t he maybe justified in that concern?” he asked pointedly.
Gabrielle hurled a cushion at him, making him laugh. “I don’t mean stupid like going swimming alone or trying to ride a jump course bareback. I mean like, dropping out of school to walk the Appalachian Trail, or quitting my job to become a street performer.”
“That might be cool if you had any talent at all.”
Another cushion followed the first. “I just wish he would trust me,” Gabrielle said, leaning back into the remaining cushions. “I know what I want, and I know what it’ll take to get there, and I’m willing to do the work, I am.”
Curious, I took a look at her thoughts to see what it was she does want, and was impressed. Our flighty, daring charge has a deep-running desire to help others. Having had difficulties with mental illness in the past, she is studying to understand all forms of it so that she can help others through their troubles. She is unsure of what form that will take—as a behavioral therapist, perhaps, or a clinical psychologist or a social worker. But she has a sharp mind and a good heart, and both are focused on this future as she is focused on nothing else.
Not even, I notice, her relationship. Nick is a comfort to her, and she does love him, but she does not want him with the same fervor as she wants her career. Of course, that may not be a problem—many place their romantic lives as secondary to their calling.
But for Nick, Gabrielle is not secondary to anything, and that imbalance might be a problem.
He crossed the room to sit beside her, putting his arm around her. “Your dad is a traditional kind of guy,” he reminded her. “He’s proud of you, of course he is, but there are things he prioritizes that you just don’t.”
Things, I could see, here meaning marriage, a home, and a family. And it is true; Gabrielle just does not seem excited about those things, and she is one who wears her heart on her sleeve.
“Things you could help me with,” Gabrielle murmured.
Nick’s heart made a very loud thump, but he managed to answer calmly. “He always did like me.”
She pounded his chest, then sighed and nudged him back until they were both reclining, her head resting on his chest. “I love him, he’s just…frustrating.”
To this, Nick had nothing to say, so he ran a hand down her hair. She closed her eyes, and they rested together for some time.
I think this is getting closer to the heart of what Gabrielle does and does not want. I think I got it right when I said that she was running away from something, not toward Nick, but what that is, I can’t be sure. I think, though, that I might have to meet her father in order to understand.
In the meantime, Gabrielle means to spend the weekend with Nick, and I will likely be checking in on them often. I need to understand their relationship better before I can say whether or not it can last. They are in different places emotionally, but they might be able to make it work, if they both at least understand where they are beginning. As ever, once I know the answer, you shall, as well.