This morning Hannah began her day in much the same way I did—feeling tired and despondent, with little motivation to spare. Perhaps that is what drew me to her today. I am glad it was so, because now both of us have had our spirits lifted. Hannah had just come out of the break room when she heard her friend John saying, “Oh, here she is.” Automatically she sighed, thinking he was bringing her yet another problematic patient—there seem to…
For the past two years, our celebration on Valentine’s has filled me with energy and excitement. It is always a busy day, and yet usually I find myself brimming with joy and eager to talk about it when it is over. It was not this way this year. Part of my despondency, I think, is due to a certain disconnect between myself and my fellow Cupids. After the hearing with its accompanying revelations, there has been a span of distance…
I spent some time today with Hannah at work in the hospital. It was not easy for me, I have to admit. I have never much liked hospitals, though not for the reason most of my brethren feel. It is not the pain that bothers me, nor even the fear in the spirits of those who are in real danger of death. For me, it is not loss of life but altered life that hurts the most. Those who know…
A quick update, and then I will have to get back to work. Much is happening, and none of it is easily solved. I have been staying close to Freya these past few days, but she seems to be doing well. Whatever flash of awareness she had in the moment of George’s accident, it does not seem to have stayed in her conscious memory. Her dreams, however, have been troubled, and she has not been quite so eager to see…
It is strange how intentions and results do not always align. What I may believe to be a negative event has often turned out to have a positive effect on my charge. I can only hope that the reverse is not true in this instance. I have been trying to persuade Anna to step out of her accustomed schedule, so that she can meet some new people and start forming friendships that will ease her loneliness. I was delighted when…
I have gone to Danit, to Kuya, to Jariel, even to Zezette herself. None of them have been able or willing to answer any of my questions. I have checked in on Freya and George both, and to be safe, all of my other charges. Nothing has changed with any of them, except perhaps that George drives quite a bit more carefully now. Of course, none of them have any answers. I have tried to be patient. I have tried…
I cannot stop shaking. I have never known fear such as this. Inca and Eburnean are still with me. I tried to tell them that I was all right, but they do not believe me, and they should not. I am not all right. Eburnean says that I should write what I have experienced. I am not certain what it was that I experienced, to say truth, though I can make some guesses that make the whole thing more frightening. …
Some charges are easier to come to know than others. I felt that I knew Freya, for example, before the end of my second encounter with her, but it took me months to even see the good in Shannon. Sometimes, however, all it takes is one very telling conversation to give me the key. I was with Hannah this evening, intending only to check in on her and give her some encouragement before moving on, when she received a phone…
Adnar’el once observed to me that trying to help a struggling marriage is like dragging both partners up a slippery slope—one tries to go one way, the second another, and you are always just one wrong step from tumbling down all together. I can see now that he was right. Gabrielle and Nick fought again this evening, and some things were said that cut both of them deeply. It started when Gabrielle was going to be late returning home—there was…
I had an opportunity to speak to Danit today, for which I was glad; I have been wanting to ask her about what happened with Freya. It was a surprise, though, to arrive and find Zezette there as well. They were speaking of some of Danit’s other juniors, and I could not help but wonder if they had been talking about me as well. I have been aware of closer supervision than before in the past few weeks, but nothing…