The worst being behind us, both of our wounded ones are recovering now. We broke through to Asa’el just in time—the wound to his spirit was beginning to fester. Any longer and he would have been beyond help save from our Father himself. But with the strength of all three humans under his wings, he is recovering. He remains isolated to regain his health, and so I am still writing for him, and keeping watch over Freya.
Her recovery is moving much more quickly than that of her angel. With the help of George and Kara, she has begun to convince the remainder of her family and friends that she is not in danger. Of course the two of them have stayed very close, sleeping in her home and spending what they can of their days with her, for they have many questions. George will often press her about the details of the universe—the roles that angels play, everything she knows about the Choice Web, how it is that she can sense angels around her, and more. He has even pressed Brid for similar answers when she comes with her daily updates. Today he asked her why all the stories he has ever heard have angels as figures of terror, when they all find Brid very mild and unstartling.
“What you see when you look at me is my nature,” Brid explained. “It is your mind manifesting what you feel in my presence. And I am an angel of peace. We are not the ones who usually reveal ourselves to humans—usually that rare honor is given to a Guardian, or else an Order with a message from God himself.”
Kara leaned forward. “So when we meet Ace, he’ll be scary?”
“To you, I am certain he will,” Brid said, “at least at first. He is a warrior of heaven, after all.” She smiled at Freya. “But I imagine that Freya will feel differently.”
Brid said her goodbyes then and returned to heaven—now that Asa’el is accepting healing, she leaves him only to give updates to Freya, and to carry news of her to him. As soon as she was gone, Kara gave Freya a significant look.
“Don’t start,” Freya said, going back to the book she’d been reading before Brid arrived.
“She said he will,” Kara said. “That has to mean that they’re going to let him.”
“We already guessed that they would let him,” Freya said impatiently, “that’s not news. What they’re very careful not to say is when.”
Kara studied her friend. She has adjusted remarkably well, and now addresses all of us with the same casual manner she uses with George and Freya. Her interest has not been in the ways of the world, but in Freya’s thoughts and feelings about all that has happened.
“Look, if they let Brid reveal herself to you—”
“We’ve been through all this,” Freya said, to no avail.
“—then they’re going to have to let Ace do it, too.”
Freya glowered at her book.
“Anyway, you were almost there with being able to see him. You said you saw him that night, didn’t you?”
George glanced up from his laptop—Freya has sent him all of her notes to peruse. “Kara, give it a rest,” he said gently. “You’re not helping.”
Kara sighed but sat back again. Freya settled deeper in her chair and tried to ignore them, but her mind was not on the pages in front of her.
She has recovered well, and now she is afflicted with what Brid warned me is a common side effect of healing: impatience. She wants to see Asa’el, but since Brid cannot say how long it will be before he can return to Earth, there is nothing she can do but wait. Brid cannot even carry messages from him—the course of healing requires that he remains still and silent, resting within himself while his wound is tended.
Soon enough Freya left her book and went upstairs to her bedroom. George and Kara let her go, for now they know that she is never alone. I went with her, for even though I am not the angel she wants, she is comforted by my presence, at least a little.
Freya opened her laptop and went into her own copy of her notes on angels. She was only interested in one bit, however—the list of Asa’el’s previous charges. It has been comforting to her to check in on them as much as she can. In a way, she feels that she should step into Asa’el’s place while he is gone.
Her gaze fell on the name of Mary Wimmer, and she smiled to herself. She tapped and typed and waited, and soon enough she was on Mary’s website.
Only moments later, a little chat window popped up. Freya frowned at it, and her heart jumped at the sight of the name in the window.
Ace???
Confused, Freya typed back, What?
The reply was quick, and angry.
What do you mean what? Where the hell have you been? I’ve been checking practically every hour! I was worried about you!
Freya’s heart was picking up speed. She typed,
Hey, hey, slow down. I’m not Ace, but I know him. Who’s this?
There was a pause. Then:
I’m Mary. You’re logged in as Ace, though.
Actually, I think he was logged in as me. But go back a little. You’ve been talking to Ace?
Yeah, for a couple of months now. Usually on Sunday nights, but some other times too. He always seems to know when I need some help.
Freya blinked tears away from her eyes. She hadn’t known about this correspondence of Asa’el’s.
He’s good about that.
So how do you know Ace? What’s your name anyway? He never tells me anything about himself.
I’m Freya.
Freya couldn’t think for a moment how to answer the first question. She tried, Ace is my best friend, but it didn’t look right on the page. Finally she told the truth.
He’s my guardian angel.
The reply was a little laughing face with tears in its eyes. But then Mary went on,
I actually think of him the exact same way. He has really good advice, and talking to him just makes me feel better.
So where’s he been? Is he okay?
Freya hesitated. Finally she typed, more deliberately than usual,
He’ll be okay. Something happened earlier this week, and he’s in pretty bad shape. But he’s getting better.
He was hurt? What happened? Was it an accident?
It was the easy solution, and Freya was tempted, but she thought that Asa’el would not lie, even to comfort Mary. He would find the comfort in the truth.
No, it wasn’t, actually. He was attacked. It was someone he trusted once, and so he didn’t protect himself like he should have.
Mary was once my charge, too, and so I brushed Freya’s shoulder with my wing to warn her of my departure, and flew to her side. Mary was sitting in semi-darkness in her room, staring at the screen, her stomach twisting into knots. She has seen wickedness before, so she didn’t ask how someone so bright and kind and innocent could be the target of attack.
Eventually she typed back,
God, I’m so sorry. But he really is going to be okay?
She was grateful for Freya’s quick reply.
Yes, he’s getting his strength back. I haven’t seen him yet, but I get regular updates. He’ll be back to work soon.
I put my own wings around Mary’s shoulders, reassuring her that it was the truth. She exhaled long and low and put her fingers back on the keys.
Could you message me if anything changes?
Of course. Ace would want me to keep you posted.
Sudden doubt had Mary responding,
I don’t want to pry. We’re not that close, I know, and you don’t know me at all.
Freya’s answers came one after the other, bursting with warmth.
If you’re Ace’s friend, then you’re close. He doesn’t do casual relationships. He always loves with everything in him.
Mary smiled sadly. Then, forgetting for a moment that she wasn’t actually talking to the same accepting heart as usual, she asked,
Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve that?
I jumped back to Freya in time to see her looking down at the bandage still on her arm.
All the time. But it doesn’t matter. Even if we don’t deserve it, he loves us anyway.
They signed off soon after that, with Freya promising to be back online the next day with an update and to talk a bit longer. She closed her computer and leaned back against her pillows, eyes on the ceiling.
“It’s not that we have to earn love,” she said after a long moment. “It’s that we all deserve that much love, and we don’t get it. We learn to hoard our resources, and so there’s not enough to go around.”
I sensed that she wanted an answer, even knowing that I couldn’t give it to her. But she was wrong about that. I may not be able to make her hear me, but I could get across one small concept, and I leaned down and whispered it in her ear.
“Yet.”
And Freya smiled.