Presence is a very simple thing, but it can make a great difference. I have been visiting Shannon every day for a week now, and already I am beginning to see a slight ease in her stubborn determination not to think of Mark. It is a small thing, but it is progress, and so I will continue.
I have been taking a similar approach with my newest charge, Grace. I go to her to spend an hour or so every day, trying to learn more about her and help her see that all is not well between her and Con.
In a way, it has been both easy and difficult. Grace is a happy soul, a good person to keep company. She is almost always smiling, and she manages to combine her own bright outlook on life with an awareness and a deep compassion for suffering. This same trait, however, leads her to be rather reluctant to face the hard things that are close to her.
Looking back over what I have written already, I should correct myself. There is not really a problem between Grace and Con. The problem is with him. He cannot envision his future as easily as Grace can, and so he is uncertain and afraid of the word “forever”.
I have tried to work with him a bit, but his is a spirit that slides away from unpleasant things—in that, he and Grace are alike. So I have put my focus on Grace. If she knows, at least, that something is wrong, she can begin to help him. I have seen in her work that she is quick to address problems; it is simply this one, so close to her heart, that she is reluctant to acknowledge.
But she is coming to know my voice, and so she listens when I point out to her Con’s hesitation to talk about the wedding, how he has delayed her in sending out the invitations, how he never talks about their plans after they are married. Though it gives her a pit in her stomach that I am sorry to see, she is beginning to see.
The first step is admitting there is a problem. Once that is done, we can begin to solve it, and that too will be done a little at a time.