I just had the strangest conversation.
I was in heaven, waiting for Danit so I could fill her in on my charges. These reports are no longer required, of course, but I enjoy talking over my charges with someone who knows and loves them and who has much wisdom to offer. But Danit was busy with a younger Cupid, so I was at leisure, enjoying the quiet.
It is not correct to say that Eburnean’s arrival disturbed that quiet—they came upon me suddenly and silently, their expression serene. But the aura of a Guardian, particularly one as advanced as Eburnean, is very different from that of a Cupid. My gentle sisters and brothers move in a sort of cloud, whereas a Guardian carries sharpness in every part of themselves. I have noticed this with Inca, and it is still clearer with Eburnean.
“May I have a moment of your time, Asa’el?” Eburnean asked.
“Of course,” I replied. “I hope you are well, sibling.”
Eburnean did not acknowledge the question except with a flick of one wing. “Inca has told me of your actions last night, with Gabrielle.”
“My actions?” I was genuinely puzzled. It took me a moment’s thought to guess what might have interested Eburnean. “Do you mean when I frightened away the men who were harassing her?”
“Exactly that,” Eburnean said. They considered me with pale eyes, and I could read nothing in their aura. “I am wondering how it was that you accomplished that.”
Something in their tone was making my stomach twist, as if I were being scolded for something I should not have done. “I simply did not like the way they were thinking about her. She wanted them to leave her alone, and I wanted to help her.”
Now there was a smile on Eburnean’s face, but it did not reassure me much. It was as if they had expected something and my words had confirmed it. “There is no need to be defensive, young brother.”
Defensive? “If that is how I sounded, I apologize, Eburnean. I meant no disrespect.”
Again Eburnean waved a wing to dismiss my words. “You misunderstand my question, or perhaps I worded it poorly. I wished to know how you drove away these men. Did you speak to them? Touch them?”
“I did both,” I said, still trying to determine what was the reason for these questions. “I told them that my charge was protected, and I touched their foreheads.”
Eburnean nodded thoughtfully. “And how did they react? Were you reading their auras?”
“I was. There was not much of a reaction, but they did stop harassing Gabrielle.”
“But what did they feel? Did they simply realize that they would get nowhere with their advances, or did you frighten them away?”
Such a marked question made me think that Eburnean already knew the answer. “They were afraid,” I said. “Only for a moment, but they were. I wondered about that.”
“So do I,” Eburnean murmured.
This was too much mystery. “Eburnean, why do you ask all of this?”
Eburnean smiled. “I apologize for all of my questions. I am simply curious at what Inca told me. She was surprised that what she had come to do was already done when she arrived.”
My wings trembled. “Did I offend Inca? It was certainly not my intention to—”
Eburnean laughed, their voice clear and quite beautiful. “Peace, Asa’el,” they said. “A Guardian does not worry so much about who protects the innocent, as long as they are protected. Inca would never have mentioned the incident to me, except that she knows I have an interest in such things.”
“Such things?”
They considered me for a moment. “I did well when I thought to pair you and Inca. You both have learned a great deal from one another—she works with a sensitivity to her charges now that puts her in very good standing, and among all of my juniors she has become the quickest to notice emotional dangers. I thought initially that the changes mentioned by your own seniors had been learned from Inca.”
I had not known that my seniors had noticed changes in my work, and suddenly I was wondering if these changes were a good thing.
“But I am no longer so certain,” Eburnean continued. “Inca tells me that what you did, she has never showed you.”
“Is it so remarkable that I should have done it without having been shown?” I asked. “It was such a simple thing.”
“Perhaps,” Eburnean said, “but it shows that you have sharp protective instincts, which is not something I would expect to find in a Cupid.” They tipped their head to one side. “But then, was there not some question when you were new…?”
They got no further in this line of questioning, for my aura turned as white then as Eburnean’s own, filled with distress and fear that I could not control. Suddenly I was back, surrounded by the emptiness, the long hours slowly eroding my joy, the confusion and loneliness building into fear, and the silence, the sheer unbroken silence…
Then Eburnean’s hand was on my shoulder, and waves of strength were rolling into me. I gasped and drew back, my wings closing around me.
“I apologize for distressing you,” Eburnean said, and I could see the guilt like gray clouds in the whiteness of their aura. “I do apologize, Asa’el. I should have thought that to say such a thing would be triggering.”
I was still trying to recover my composure. “Triggering?” I repeated.
One side of Eburnean’s mouth quirked up. “A Guardian’s terminology. Never mind. Forgive me, and I sincerely hope you will think no more of it.”
I wanted to say, It is forgotten, but it would have been a lie. “I forgive you, of course,” I said instead.
Eburnean left me then, but I have not stopped thinking of the encounter. What was it about my actions that made Eburnean so curious? Why do my protective instincts interest them so very much? Perhaps I will speak to Inca about it.
Or perhaps, as Eburnean wished, I will try to forget it. If this line of thought is triggering…well. I do not want to go back to the beginning again.