Well. I admit that what happened tonight has been coming for some time, but I still was not looking forward to its arrival.
The truth is that not all has been well with Gabrielle and Nick. They may have reconciled over the precipitous arrival of little Walter, but Nick was right to believe that the puppy would bring havoc to their household. They were reprimanded by their landlord, who agreed in the end that they could keep Walter, but required them to pay an additional fee on their rent every month against any damage he might cause. And he has caused damage—for a few weeks after his arrival, he not only showed a tendency to shred socks and Gabrielle’s pantyhose, but he also destroyed three of Nick’s four good ties.
Gabrielle has borne the brunt of the fallout of this. Nick when angry recedes from confrontation, which to me is a relief after my experience with violent men, but Gabrielle would almost prefer him to yell and scream. When she does not know what he is thinking, it makes her anxious. I have done my best to foster communication between the two, and Inca and I have both done our best to assist in Walter’s training—in fact, Inca has quite a knack for it. Still, the wave has been building, and tonight it broke, and nothing I said or did had any effect at all.
Nick and Gabrielle were invited to a Christmas party by one of Gabrielle’s coworkers. She has been nervous about the party all week, for it is the first time she and Nick will go out to an occasion where none of her family will be present. Their support and their presence has made things much easier for her in these crucial early days of her marriage, and not to have them is worrying.
So she was fretting, still trying to decide what to wear while Nick was already ready to go.
“What do you think?” she asked, bringing two dresses out to the living room to show to Nick, who was sitting on the couch looking at his watch.
“Either one will be fine, Gabby, we’re going to be late.”
“Nobody’s on time for parties these days, it’ll be fine. Now come on, you didn’t even look.”
Nick sighed and looked up at the dresses. “The red one,” he said.
Gabrielle held the dress up against herself, grimacing. “I don’t know, you don’t think it’s too Christmassy?”
“It’s a Christmas party,” Nick said flatly.
“Yeah, but I don’t have to shout it.” Gabrielle shifted the other dress in front of herself, looking down at herself. “You think I’ll clash if I wear yellow?”
“Oh, my God, Gabby, I don’t care what you wear,” Nick snapped, covering his face with both hands. “Just fucking put something on, please!”
Gabrielle stared at him, and cold anger filled her aura. She dropped both dresses onto the floor, stalked back to their bedroom, and slammed the door.
I did my best to persuade her away from what happened next, but I think even if Inca had been with me, our combined efforts would not have even made a dent.
She was almost ready when Nick knocked on the door. “Gabby, come on,” he said, sounding not quite repentant. “If we’re going, we have to go now.”
Gabrielle opened the door, and Nick blinked at her.
“Well?” she said cheerfully. “If we’re going, let’s go.”
It was her Halloween costume this year, chosen to amuse the children with whom she volunteers twice a week. And to be honest, the yellow of the banana costume did not clash with Nick’s pale green bow tie and brown suit jacket. But I admit it did not set quite the right tone.
Nick’s face became shuttered. “Are you fucking serious,” he said.
“What?” Gabrielle asked. “You said you didn’t care what I wear. So let’s go.” She started past him, but he moved into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, his head in his hands.
“Oh, come on, Nick,” she said cajolingly.
I should make clear that she did this in anger, but the humor of it was not lost on her. She hoped that she could transform his anger into laughter, and then they could talk about it. But she didn’t realize how very angry he was.
“Do you not have any respect for me at all?” he demanded, letting his hands fall to his sides.
This surprised her. “What?”
“God, Gabby, look at you!” He surged to his feet. “You think everything can just be laughed away, that you can bat your eyes at me and I’ll do anything you want. Well, and why shouldn’t you think that? That’s how you got me to marry you, isn’t it?”
That cut her deeply. “You wanted to marry me,” she snapped.
“Yeah, I did. Wasn’t I an idiot?”
“What the hell have I done to deserve that?”
“Aside from bringing that little monster in here to chew up our lives?” He pointed to the bed, under which Walter was cowering, frightened by the loud noises and raised voices. “You’ve canceled three of our date nights to run off with your friends, and you’ve brought them here twice on nights before I have to work, and you’re always bitching that I don’t do enough around the house—”
“You fucking live here, too, Nick!”
“Well, I have to work to pay for all your impulse buys—”
“I work, too, buddy,” Gabrielle shouted, stabbing her finger into his chest, “and I pay my own damn way—on top of grad school, no less!”
“You’re not the only one in grad school,” he growled.
“Not this semester you aren’t.” Gabrielle was now every bit as furious as he, but with her it showed in dark, wet eyes and trembling hands. “How many hours of video games did you play this week?”
“You see?” Nick said coolly. “My point exactly.”
“What is?” she cried. “That you’re a lazy son of a bitch who’s trying to blame me for things that don’t get done around here?”
“You’re reckless and thoughtless and impulsive,” he said, unrelenting. “You don’t think before you act or speak, and I’m the one who has to deal with the consequences.”
“Yeah? Well, I’ll remind you, Nick, you knew all of that before you married me, and I didn’t force you to come with me!”
He turned away, stalking to the window and staring out. It was beginning to snow outside, but to me it felt colder within.
When Gabrielle had caught her breath, suddenly she wilted a bit. “Come on, Nick,” she pleaded, “I’m wearing a banana, for God’s sake. Can we not just—laugh it off?” She held out her hands and smiled weakly.
He shook his head without looking at her. “Sure, we can laugh,” he muttered. “Why not? This marriage is a joke.” He tore off his bow tie and left the bedroom, continuing without stopping out of the apartment.
Gabrielle sank to the floor, where Walter came sniffing up to her, whining faintly. She gathered him up in her arms and buried her face in his fur.