I have not written much about Anna these past weeks, because her life has been quiet. She goes to work, to church, and to bible study. Over one weekend she went to visit her parents and came home with a box of books from her mother, who was cleaning out their house. She’s even made good friends with a few girls from bible study, and sometimes she will go out with them for drinks or for coffee. It has been a good time for her, but uneventful in the areas where a Cupid might have influence.
I haven’t pressed her. Her relationship with Rob, while brief, was intense, to borrow a word from Freya. In that short time she grew to feel very strongly for him, and though she still is confident that ending it was the right thing to do, she needed time to grieve.
I’m beginning to see signs, however, that her time of rest is coming to an end. In the past week as the weather warmed, she has been lifting her head and looking around at the men in her life. She had a taste of what it might be like to be in a committed relationship, and she wants it again. There are a few candidates—a friend of a friend, a coworker, and one young man who has been coming into church lately—and I am reviewing them, trying to find out who it might be best to support.
So it was awkward for both of us when Rob appeared at bible study this evening.
Anna noticed him as soon as he walked in, though she pretended not to. His eyes found her the moment he came in, but Anna was engaged in conversation with her friend Ashlee, so Rob hung back, and then the study started up. Throughout the discussion, both Anna and I were distracted, and Rob also seemed quiet—he at least did not argue with the presenter this time. I tried to see what his intentions were, but it seemed that even he was not sure. All I could see clearly was how much he had missed Anna.
After the study was finished, Anna gathered her courage and went to say hello. He smiled at her as she approached. “Hey, Annie.”
“Rob.” When he reached forward as if to hug or kiss her, she stopped short and folded her arms over her chest. Still, she returned his smile. “How have you been?”
“Okay,” he said with a shrug. “Missing my girl.”
She blushed, and I flicked a wing at him irritably for making a claim on her that he has no right to. He glanced away. “You okay?”
“I’m good,” she said, and she was a bit embarrassed by how true it was. She wanted to add that she missed him, and it would not have been a lie, but I encouraged her to keep the thought to herself.
Rob cleared his throat. “Learning anything?” he asked, gesturing around at the rest of the group, most of whom were aware of the tension between these two and staying well away.
“Yes, actually. We’re studying 1 Peter. I’m enjoying it, I’ve never had the chance to really dig into the letters.”
Rob nodded, but he had nothing to say to that. Or rather, he did not want to say what he thought, as he knew it would only bring back the reason for their breakup.
As the silence stretched on, Anna started to look around for an escape. Rob saw this, and he provided her with one. “Well, I won’t keep you—you have work early tomorrow, right?”
She nodded.
“Better go say hello to Scott anyway,” Rob went on. “You have a good night, Anna.”
As he started to move past her, Anna let her hand brush over his arm. “It’s good to see you, Rob,” she said, and her voice was warm. He turned, but she was already headed for the door. He watched her go.
I think he only wanted to see her—he misses her much more than she does him. He won’t admit to himself why, and that is why I will do my best to keep him away from her, despite my sympathy for him. For Anna’s part, I was proud of how she kept her resolve. The sight of him did sting her heart more than she’d expected, but I have hope that the pain will be less when she sees him again, and soon there will be no pain at all.
Still, I will be happier when she has found someone else who can walk with her in all parts of her life. She deserves that.