Well, it is official. Gabrielle and Nick are getting a divorce. She went to get the paperwork yesterday.
It is strange for me—I would never have thought that I would help to facilitate a separation like this, let alone one so soon after two people came together. It goes against so much of what I have learned as a Cupid. And yet, I stand by the decision. Already Gabrielle is sleeping better, though she has only Victoria’s lumpy couch for a bed, and her heart is lighter. Nick is worse off, but then, he has not had the time to grow accustomed to the idea. His heart hurts, but I can see that this is not the sort of pain that will cripple him. He will heal, and perhaps he will learn from this.
That is a long way off, however. This will be a long and difficult process—Gabrielle spent several hours struggling over the forms this morning before she gave up. And that will be the easy part. Nick has still not quite agreed to the divorce—he came by Victoria’s apartment three times this week, trying to talk Gabrielle out of it. The third time, Victoria shut the door in his face.
And he is only one person who has to come to terms with the decision.
Though Victoria offered to come along—she has been a blessing to Gabrielle these past few days, truly—Gabrielle arrived alone at her parents’ house this evening. She came into the house without knocking and called out to them.
Gary came out of the kitchen, a surprised smile spreading across his face and a napkin in his hand. “Gabby, honey,” he said, opening his arms. “What are you doing here? Your timing’s bad, we just finished dinner.”
“That’s okay. I hoped I wouldn’t interrupt you guys.” Gabrielle ran into his arms and hugged him tightly, knowing that his love and approval might be rescinded by the time she said what she had to say. I followed her, washing her with strength and wishing that I could give Gary tolerance.
After Ellie had joined them and also hugged Gabrielle, and after she had served them all with coffee and warm apple pie, Gabrielle took a seat in the kitchen and looked seriously at her parents. “I need to tell you both something.”
The tone of her voice alerted them to trouble, and they settled down across from her. “Sounds serious,” Gary said.
“It is. And I hope you’ll remember that—that I am serious, and that I won’t be changing my mind.” She looked particularly at her father when she said this.
Now he was frowning. “All right, out with it.”
The moment had arrived, and still she hesitated. I thought for a moment about calling Inca to give her courage, but then Gabrielle took a deep breath and spoke. “Nick and I are getting a divorce,” she said. “I’ve already moved out, and I’m starting on the paperwork.”
Both of her parents stared at her. Gary was nothing short of flabbergasted—his wife had not shared with him the troubles that Gabrielle has been having, and he was not the sort of person to notice them for himself. Ellie, for her part, never made the connection between those troubles and the possibility of divorce.
“What?” Gary said finally.
Gabrielle lowered her head. “You heard me,” she said.
Gary’s face was turning red. “But—a divorce? What the hell, Gabby? You’ve been married six months.”
“Closer to seven, now,” Gabrielle replied, keeping her voice light, “and it actually feels like a lot longer to me. Really, I shouldn’t have married him at all, but it’s too late for that.”
“Honey,” Ellie said, setting a calming hand on her husband’s arm, “I know it’s been a little rocky with the two of you for a while, but trust me, this isn’t the solution. The first year is always the hardest—”
“Is it?” Gabrielle asked, meeting her mother’s gaze. “Because you always told me that it got harder after the first wash of love faded. By your logic Nick and I should still be coasting on that, but we’re fighting to get through a few days.” She shook her head. “I can’t do it anymore, Mom.”
“You mean you don’t want to,” Gary said. “You’re taking the easy way out.”
“Easy?” Gabrielle repeated. “You think this was an easy decision for me? I thought about this for weeks, Dad.”
“And did you bother to tell your husband?” he demanded.
“Don’t you do that,” she snapped, with a strength that made me proud. “Don’t you turn this on me. I talked to Nick again and again. I was patient and I was gentle and I was reasonable. I asked him to go to counseling with me, but he wouldn’t go, he thought everything was fine. And it wasn’t, it isn’t.” Her voice broke, and I wrapped my wing around her like a shield.
Gary pushed to his feet and left the room, and we could hear him beginning to pace in the living room.
“Baby,” Ellie said, taking Gabrielle’s hands, “look, I had no idea that it was this bad. But you can’t run away from this.”
“Yes, I can,” Gabrielle said. “And I should.”
“When you both were so happy? When you have something so good?”
“But it’s not good, Mom,” Gabrielle said, squeezing her mother’s hands. “We got married for the wrong reasons, and most of that is on me, I know, but I’ve tried, I have—”
Gary, who could hear all of this, burst back into the kitchen to interrupt. “The time to think about this was before you made a vow before God,” he said, holding up his finger in Gabrielle’s face. “You made your bed—”
I stepped between them then. “Do not dare to use faith to hurt your daughter,” I said, and it was as if ice chips dropped from my tongue.
“And I should lie in it?” Gabrielle demanded, as Gary stuttered, flustered and confused. “Is that what you want, Dad? You want me to spend the rest of my life sleeping beside a man I’ve started to hate, who doesn’t see me the way I want to be seen and who doesn’t understand me? Is that really what you want for me?”
Gary took a step back from her obvious misery. “Divorce is a sin,” he muttered.
“Well, lying is a sin too,” Gabrielle retorted. “And I cannot continue to bear false witness to my husband, who is also my friend. I have to be honest. And the honest truth is that I didn’t want a marriage. I wanted a safe place from your judgment.”
Now Gary turned fully away. He knew what she was saying, but he was not ready to face this truth. I wonder if he will ever be ready.
Gabrielle stared at him for a moment, then turned to her mother, who was white-faced, but at least would still meet her daughter’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom,” Gabrielle said, tears in her eyes. “I did this because I wanted you all to be happy. And that’s wrong. It was wrong for me and it was unfair for Nick. And we both deserve to be happy in our own lives. So I’m doing this.”
Her parents were silent.
Gabrielle picked up her bag. She kissed her mother, but Gary stepped away when she tried to do the same for him. The pain of that cut her deeper than she had expected, and she had expected a lot. Swallowing her tears, she told them that she loved them and that if they needed her, she would be at Victoria’s, and then she left.
I stayed for a while, trying to get them to accept the truth, but there was no way into their hearts. When they shook off their shock and started to talk about how Gabrielle shouldn’t give up so soon, how she should give her marriage a chance and be willing to put the work in—that was when I left and went back to Gabrielle. At least with her, I could be of some use giving comfort.
I hope I was some comfort to her. It is the right thing she is doing, but certainly not the easy thing, whatever her father might say.