For me, today was a good day. I spent the afternoon with Lewis and Sarah, whose regular lunches are developing a level of underlying tension of the best kind. Both of them are very aware of one another, and there is meaning behind every smile, every touch. Lewis is still holding back, but he is beginning to be more hopeful, and Brid tells me that soon he will be ready to make a move.
I also checked in on Anna, Hannah, and Gabrielle, all of whom are doing well—Anna has little news, for while she has met a couple of men on her website that have some potential, none of them have interested her, and so she hasn’t been on any dates. Gabrielle and Hannah have both done so, however. Christina is a delight to Gabrielle. They celebrated the finalization of Gabrielle’s divorce last night with champagne, though Christina was disappointed that this meant she was no longer a mistress. And Jack got a babysitter for Lily two nights ago and took Hannah out for a nice dinner and some “adult time”. Much as they love Lily, they both needed it.
So for me, all is well. And yet I feel like my wings have lead weights attached to the tips, for there is one of my own who is not doing well at all.
When I returned to heaven this evening, I found both Brid and Inca waiting for me. There was anxiety in both of their auras, but they show it so differently that I did not immediately recognize it. Brid moved immediately toward me, her eye and her thoughts focused intently on mine. Inca, meanwhile, was taut with energy, ready for anything, watchful and silent.
“Is something wrong?” I asked them, stopped short by their strange behavior.
Brid looked over her shoulder at Inca. “Are you certain?” she asked. “It will hurt him so much.”
“He deserves to know,” Inca said tersely. “Asa’el, my sister Heyele—”
Brid interrupted her with almost equal sharpness. “If he must know, then I will tell him, thank you.”
Inca only nodded. By this point I was anxious. “What is it?” I asked them both.
Brid sighed and took my hands. “Asa’el…Shannon is darkening.”
I pulled free from her, stunned into icy silence. Even now, I wish I could deny it.
“We both knew how much she still means to you, so we have been looking in on her,” Brid explained, indicating Inca with one wing. “And we have asked others to do the same. Well, just today—”
“Heyele guards a young woman in Shannon’s neighborhood,” Inca said. “She saw Shannon today, having a loud argument with a friend at a barbecue. There’s no mistake—her aura is already beginning to take on shadow.”
Brid was absolutely right about how much this would hurt me. I knew that this was a possibility, knew that darkness had a hold on her, but I always hoped that she would find a way out. And I never thought that she would fade so quickly!
“How?” I asked. “I was with her just a year ago!”
Brid looked helplessly at Inca.
“Would it be better if it came as a surprise?” Inca demanded. “Tell him, or I will.”
All but vibrating with frustration, Brid pulled me into her arms. “She has been alone,” she whispered to me. “Her friends have begun to fall away, and she has few connections now. Those in her family are putting distance between themselves and her, and she is not coping well. She always did have a tendency to turn in on herself.”
I leaned heavily on Brid. “She can’t be lost,” I whispered. “She can’t be beyond help.”
“No, but Asa’el, it is only a matter of time.”
Everything I have been taught agrees with Brid. Once a human soul takes on that darkness, once it closes off from all outside influence, there is no saving them. They will fall, and they will not rise again.
And yet in the pain I feel, there is no room for hopelessness. I cannot help but think of the look on Inca’s face when they told me. While Brid wanted only to comfort me, it was as if Inca was waiting for something, expecting something from me. And I think I know what it was. I cannot give up on Shannon, not as long as there is breath in her lungs.
One thing is sure: I am glad that I know. Though it hurts me, the very least I can do is think of Shannon now and remember the strength and brightness that I saw in her.