I admit that I am uneasy leaving Alex without my protection tomorrow night. But Taralom’s sharp gaze is fixed on this situation, and Inca, Anatole, and Tyisha have all promised to look in on him for me. He will be safe while I go on my very first scouting mission.
The objective is simple: one of Ananiah’s charges is going on a journey alone, and Ananiah believes that her solitude will leave her vulnerable to attack. She and another Cherub, N’am, will be guarding her from the Violences who have been targeting her. It will be our task, mine and Ophell’s, to go ahead of them and warn them when the Violences approach, and also to watch in case of a trap set by Apostates. Orison and a few of the older Cherubs will be standing by to help if this is the case.
I am nervous because of the near certainty of a fight—always before, the arrival of a Fallen was a surprise to me, but now I am going out looking for them. I am nervous, too, because I will not be able to help my friends to fight the enemy—our orders, delivered with absolute sternness by Ruhamah, are to return to heaven the moment that battle is joined and watch from there. I will obey, but it hurts my heart to think of my friends and my teachers going to fight when I cannot help them. Not that my presence would make much of a difference, but I would at least like the chance to try.
I know that that chance will come, and likely sooner than I realize. It is still hard to wait, and yet there is also a part of me that wishes the wait would last forever. I hope it does not make me a coward to admit that.
I think I will go to see Freya for a while.