Today I was called to the assembly of my seniors. Brid was not called, but she went with me anyway, for “I’ll not let you be alone on this great and terrible moment.” I am deeply grateful for that, and for the fact that the seniors did not send her away.
It was a larger group than I’d anticipated. Salathiel, Orison, Ero’an, Anathalie, Ruhamah, Ophell, and Ananiah were there, as I’d expected, and I was delighted and honored to see Peronel, who offered comfort with a smile. But much to my surprise and pleasure—for I hadn’t realized how much I had missed them—there were Anteros, Zezette, and Danit waiting for me as well. The moment I saw them, I simply flew into their midst, and they laughed and embraced me, our voices tumbling over one another in a river of joyful greetings and exchanges of news.
It was some time before I turned to the rest of the group, bowing low in apology.
“There is no need,” Salathiel said with a warm smile. “Nearly always there is time for joy.” She motioned me forward. “Asa’el, let me make known to you the Elder of Scribes, Calliope.”
I greeted Calliope, a graceful, dark-eyed angel with an aura of great age and wisdom. She was attended by my good friend Bayaer, who smiled to see me. Then Salathiel brought me on to meet the Elder of Readers, Jia Lu, who in turn had two others with them, both Thrones as well. One was Simmah, who nodded solemnly; the other a startingly young angel named Aela, who kept her Inner Eye fixed on me with awe in her face. Waiting nervously in Jia Lu’s shadow was Daleral, ready to give his report, and supporting him was an old friend, Sundar, a new one, Kasfe, and their senior Charolais. Jaathiya was there, which gave Brid a bit of a start, and with her a slender, sharp-eyed Power by the name of Halcyone. And in lonely splendor was the Elder of Persuasians, a tall and steady angel named Serafin. I could not think why he was present, not at first.
“Now that we are all known to one another,” Peronel said after I had greeted everyone, “shall we begin?”
“As you say, Seraph,” Salathiel said with warm respect.
Peronel smiled at her, and then turned the glow of that smile on me. “Asa’el,” she said, “tell us the story of Freya.”
What a challenge! I did my very best. I told them all how I had found Freya by chance, mistaking her for the object of my attention, and then again, when she helped me to solve a problem I couldn’t. I told them how she burst on my senses, how the flames in her aura overwhelmed me, and how I had wanted to help her. I looked at the Cupids as I spoke of how I had persuaded them to assign her to Lubos, and then I looked down when I spoke of my trespass on his authority. The time of my exile from her, and the ways that I had been granted glimpses of her in that time. How she was never far from my thoughts, even then.
I told them how she was my only real comfort when I lost Shannon, both when Shannon was taken from me and when she was killed. I told them, though it was difficult, of how my heart broke when I was taken from Freya’s case, and how I realized that I could not be without her. In the transition from Cupid to Guardian, all my thoughts were with her, and I confessed that she recognized my presence when I returned to her. I told them all how the bond between us had been growing over this past year, more and more every day. I related all of the incidents that opened her eyes bit by bit, how I had tried to keep back while still keeping her safe. And then I told them, in detail, of the day that she spoke to me, and the truths that I told her.
“In the end, I have no real words for what I feel for her,” I finished, humbly. “Only that I love her, and I am desperate to see her safe and well.”
Peronel nodded. She was no longer smiling. “The choice before us, then, is to determine the definition of ‘well.’”
Brid squeezed my hand, and for a moment my heart lightened.
“Salathiel, what do the Guardians say?” Peronel asked.
“Your pardon, Seraph, but our concern is always with ‘safe’ rather than ‘well,’” Salathiel answered. “And Freya is not safe. She is hunted by one of the most cunning enemies I have ever encountered.”
“And why is Freya a target?”
“Because the creature knows that Asa’el loves her, and it wants to bring him pain.”
I sank under those words. It is my fault, I know.
“Do you believe that the danger would be removed from Freya if she were separated from Asa’el?” Peronel asked.
At this Salathiel looked at Anathalie, who hid her eyes with one wing as she answered. “Seraph, I do not believe so,” she said. “This creature whose name we will not speak in your presence holds hatred for Freya herself, not Asa’el alone. She would perhaps be in more danger were he to be taken out of the creature’s reach, as its anger would have no other outlet.”
“I can confirm this,” Kasfe said in a quiet voice. “Even in the past days that Asa’el has lingered in heaven, there have been questions among the Fallen as to where he has gone. She who hunts him does not like not to know his whereabouts.”
“Is this creature aware of Freya’s new knowledge?” Peronel asked.
“Not yet,” was Kasfe’s worrying reply.
“Hmm.” Peronel turned back to Salathiel. “Then what is the stance of the Guardians?”
“We believe that Asa’el should remain Freya’s protector, if for no other reason than to gather the enemy’s targets in one place,” Salathiel answered. “If they are together, we can give them greater protection without overspending our resources.”
“Asa’el is beginning a battle that may last for a long time,” Orison said, meeting my eye. “He will need the comfort and support of his inspiration.”
I was so grateful for their support, and more for the truth of it. They really do believe that this would be best.
Peronel considered this for a time, and then she looked at me. “I have asked your Cupid mentors to join us because they have known you longest,” she explained, and then went on with a wink at Brid, “though not, perhaps, the best. So, Anteros, what do you think? Do you believe that Asa’el should maintain this relationship?”
“We do, Seraph,” Anteros said, but then he turned to let Danit finish.
“Asa’el was in my charge from his earliest training,” she told the gathering with a fond smile for me. “He always showed such promise and eagerness, and he had—and still has—the happy gift of taking the smallest seed of love and making it grow beyond all belief. But the opposite is true, as well. He takes hardship and grief right to his heart and by doing so makes himself vulnerable. I believe that his teachers among the Guardians have observed this.”
They certainly did—Eburnean’s scolding is still ringing in my ears.
Zezette took up the thread here. “We believe, Seraph, that contact with Freya under any circumstances will strengthen him and make him able to bear whatever may come. After all, we have all seen what he can accomplish with her by his side, and to what lengths he will go to keep her in his life.”
At this I had to speak. “That may be so, Seraph, but I promise if this gathering decides that it will be best for Freya if I stand aside, then I will do so without question.” Not without regret, certainly, but without question.
“Then it seems you have learned something, my young brother,” Peronel said. “As pertains to you, I am content that you should stay, but my greater concern is for the woman. Serafin, what can you tell us?”
I looked with surprise at Serafin, who shifted his wings and met my gaze. “I do not know Freya,” he said in a whispery voice, “but I did know Hestel very well, for she was under my charge before she was incarnated.”
Those words jolted right through me. I had never had the chance to speak to someone who had known Freya as an angel. I listened hungrily to what he had to say.
“It is appropriate that Asa’el refers to her as a woman of fire, for she simply exuded light and warmth from her earliest days. She could not help it. Like Asa’el, she pressed herself hard, trying to help as many people as she could. Her curiosity was endless, it seemed, in the best possible way—a desire to know the joys and sorrows of other lives and to share in them if she could. She did this for angels as well as humans. And all of this work sufficed to give her the Regal Eye and the attention of God. But when she was finally asked what gift she would have in reward for her success, all she said was that she wished to be incarnated, that she wanted nothing better than to walk alongside those who most needed her help, to spread joy and love in the world.”
He sighed, lowering his gaze. “Of course, the world dampened her enthusiasm for good work, and while she has continued to open herself to others and offer her love to them, she has not had the courage to do more. But I have seen improvement in her since she had the support and protection of Asa’el, and I think that such a lasting love and comfort in her life will only be a boon to her.”
“You honor me, Elder, thank you,” I said, my voice somewhat muffled.
Serafin smiled at me. “Come to me soon, Asa’el, and I will tell you more of Hestel, and you can tell me more of Freya.”
“Nothing would make me happier.” Except, of course, to go back to her.
“What is in her thoughts now?” Peronel asked, turning to the Hearers. “Does she believe?”
“She does, Seraph,” Daleral said, hiding his eyes. “She is convinced of the truth of Asa’el, and she has been thinking of what he has told her. At first she was distressed by the danger of the creature, but she is beginning to believe that it is better to know the truth and prepare for reality. She has many, many questions.”
“And what does she think of Asa’el?”
Daleral glanced at me through his wing feathers. “A part of her is offended by his intrusion into her life, but she also finds it difficult to believe that he has done anything but good. I believe that she will soon call on him, and that if he answers her questions, her heart will soften back into the trust that was already building between them.”
I pray that it might be so.
Peronel nodded and turned to the Scribes. “I know that many of you have been searching the past, looking for other instances that humans were given the truth of angels. Do you believe that Freya can withstand this truth?”
“Those who were most successful in the past were those whose faith was deep and pure,” Calliope replied. “But in this age of questions and uncertainty, I am not sure that is best. In the past two centuries it has been better for humans who are permitted a small glimpse of the truth, a secret that they may hold close to their hearts. And after all, it is not a revelation that Freya has received. She has been able to open herself to the voices of heaven, which is rare, but always wondrous.”
“Joan of Arc,” Bayaer said softly. “Siddhartha Gautama. Antonio Canova. Joseph Haydn.”
Calliope nodded. “Even so. We believe that Freya has the mind and the heart to do great things with this knowledge.”
“We would agree with that,” Jaathiya said, “or at least with the assessment of her mind.” She set her hand on Halcyone’s shoulder. “Halcyone specializes with thought and worldview, and he says that she is very strong in that respect.”
“Not easily shocked,” he said, ducking his head. “She’s very rational, but willing to let emotion be ration. In her deliberations she has accounted for the things she felt from Asa’el as well as the things he has told her. I think that she would be able to understand the whole of it, so long as she is given the time to take it in.”
Peronel nodded thoughtfully. “Past and present have spoken,” she said. “What says the future?”
Jia Lu and Simmah both looked at young Aela, who had both hands up before her, rapt eyes focused on nothing, the Inner Eye gazing at everything. “Ablaze,” she said. “All is ablaze, and there is pain in the confrontation, and the scream comes forth from the flame. Human saves angel, and the angel faces what cannot be saved, and when two of the three fall quiet, the third will walk forward in strength and set all around alight.”
My heart quickened at the prophecy, the words of which have not left my thoughts since they were spoken.
“If Aela sees it, it will come to pass,” Jia Lu told all of us. “We believe that having come this far, Freya will find the truth one way or another. Whatever happens, this confrontation between Asa’el and his enemy will come, and Freya will be involved somehow. And so we must prepare them both, and we believe the best way to do that is for Asa’el to remain at Freya’s side where he most wants to be.”
A long silence fell then as Peronel considered what had been said. I clung to Brid’s hand and waited. I did not know if the decision would be made then and there, or if Peronel would need more time.
“Very well,” she said at last. She lifted her head and smiled at me. “Only a little more patience will be needed. I will take your words to the Court, and the decision will be made by the Highest. You will have the answer before the singing begins.”
We all bowed, and when we stood straight again, she was gone.
“The Court,” Brid breathed. “Will she really speak to the Father about this?”
“It is a serious matter, for an angel to be revealed to a human,” Salathiel told us. “Who should make the final decision but the Lord of Truth?”
“There is nothing to do but to wait, then,” Anteros said. He turned to me with a loving smile. “In the meantime, Asa’el, will you come and give us your news? It has been too long.”
I have just come from their company, and I know that while they called me to them in a sincere wish to spend time with me, they also wished to distract me from the wait. But I wanted to pass some time alone as well, to think about what might be and what I will do when the decision is made.
I am grateful to all of the gathering for their support and their wisdom. There is hope in my heart this night.