No matter what the circumstances, it is never easy to say goodbye. I am leaving Don and Charlotte in the best possible situation—they are together, secure in their love for one another, happily surrounded by their shared family. As for me, I am moving on to help others, a task I await with great anticipation.
Still, my last visit to Don and Charlotte was difficult, for more reasons than one.
I found them in the evening curled together on the love seat in Don’s office, his head resting on her shoulder, her fingers combing through his hair. Sometimes they spoke, but for the most part they were quiet, glad of the peace between them.
“Oh,” Don said abruptly, lifting his head.
“What?” Charlotte asked.
Don swore and started to get up. “I forgot to call Pris’ teacher back. She left a message this afternoon about a college interview—”
Charlotte kept hold of him, pulling him back down next to her. “I heard the message, and I already called her,” she said, her voice confident, though her spirit held some hesitation. “I have Pris’ schedule in my phone, so I set up a meeting for next week. It should be in your phone already.”[1]
Surprised, Don twisted so he could dig his phone out of his pocket, its light shining on his face as he looked through it. He laughed briefly. “So it is. That’s perfect.” He sighed with contentment and dropped the phone to the carpet, leaning back again. “That’s why I love you, Char.”
Charlotte jerked, her hand tightening in Don’s hair so that he yelped. She released him hastily, and he sat up, running a hand over his scalp. “Careful,” he said, laughing, “I’m already in danger of losing my hair without you trying to pull it out.”
“What did you say?” Charlotte asked, paying no attention to his words.
Don, fully aware of what she meant, turned to her with a smile. “I said quit pulling my hair.”
“No, you idiot.” She gave him a shove, but quickly scooted across the sofa to be beside him again, slipping an arm around her waist. She had feared to be called presumptuous, overstepping her bounds, and so the contrast of Don’s easy acceptance was astonishing to her.
“But why?” I asked her. “This is your family.”
The simple truth of my words, as well as Don’s gentle smile, erased any lingering doubts that Charlotte may have had. He kissed her forehead and pulled her close against his shoulder. “I said I love you, Char,” he whispered into her ear. “And I always will.”
As Charlotte sniffed and turned her face up to Don’s, I wrapped my wings around them, capturing and strengthening that warmth. I felt them catch their breath, realizing it, and knew that this moment would be cemented in their memory for many years to come.
“Be well,” I whispered to them. “Love as I have loved you, and better.”
Then I released them and turned to go. As I did, however, someone jumped in surprise and flitted away.
It was only an instant, but I recognized the aura. Much surprised, but also curious, I followed my sister back to heaven and found her in her quarters, nervous and waiting.
“I am sorry,” she said before I could speak. “I am so sorry, I know I should not have been there, but I wanted to see you at work, and I know it was wrong—”
“Sister Nozomi,” I said, laughing, “no apology is necessary. I am very happy for you to bear witness to my work.”
She hung her head, her aura coloring with shame and sorrow. “You are laughing at me.”
I saw immediately that this had been a mistake, that my thoughtless laughter had hurt her somehow. “Now I must apologize to you,” I said with all seriousness. “I did not laugh at you, my sister, but at the thought that you would even need to ask forgiveness for such a thing.”
Her wings shifted restlessly. “It was wrong. If I had interfered at all in your work—”
“You did not,” I said as firmly as I could, radiating reassurance as if she were one of my charges. I smiled ruefully and added, “And even if you had done so, it would have been no worse than what I did to one of my own seniors, intentionally. You read about it, I am sure?”
She glanced up, and for a moment I saw a faint smile on her mouth. “Yes. I admire Freya. I cannot say that I would not have done the same in your place.” Then her smile vanished. “But I am not in your place. You are so much wiser and more loving than I—I cannot take your place, I see that now. I mean to tell our seniors so.”
“Nozomi,” I said, stopping her before she could depart, “what happened to you? What can I do to help?”
She stared at me, and pain filled her, so sharp that I could taste it. “If I tell you, you’ll pity me,” she whispered. “And that will be all you can see and I will disappear.” She laughed, but it was a bitter, despairing sound, one that I have never heard an angel utter before, and covered her face with her hands. “Perhaps that is for the best.”
I acted without thought, stepping forward and closing her in my wings just as I had my humans. All the blessing, hope, and love I had given them rose in me again, and I held her close for a moment.
“My friend Brid tells me that the truth heals,” I said to her. “If it hurts you to tell, may I not ask Danit to give me your story?” I stepped back, gripping her shoulders tightly. “I promise I will not write it to the blog.”
That made her laugh, and she let me brush away her tears. “No,” she said after a moment. “Write it.” She took a deep breath and met my gaze, holding it for the first time. “I want my brothers and sisters to know the truth. Maybe it will heal me. Nothing else has worked.”
And then she was gone, and this time I could not guess where she had fled.
I know that something is truly wrong, and it is my belief that my seniors hope I can help in some way. I hope that they are right, but I cannot do anything without full knowledge of the circumstances. Once I have learned the truth, and confirmed with Nozomi that I may speak of it with others, I will tell you. I hope you, too, my brothers and sisters, can help her with your good wishes.
Strange, isn’t it, that even without new charges, I can find someone who needs my help. It is my good fortune and my honor that it is so, and I will set to with a will.
[1] This method of keeping track of multiple people’s schedules is a talent of Charlotte’s, not to mention her ability to communicate through multiple different devices. I am at a loss to explain it further.