Brothers and sisters, I have been told a story that wounds and frightens me in equal measure. Before today, I never realized just how powerful the darkness can be. Even I, who has felt the drain of the tainted Earth, never truly considered the enemy’s strength and cruelty.
It has taken so long to get back to you because Danit had to confirm with her own seniors, as well as senior members of other disciplines, to receive permission to tell me Nozomi’s story, as well as to grant me permission to share it to the Repository. We all know, of course, that certain knowledge is unnecessary for or unearned by the majority of angels. Our seniors, however, have been gracious enough to allow me to know the truth, believing as Brid has said that it will bring healing in this case.
Nozomi, then, was assigned a case that seemed simple on the surface. Craig Haynesworth has for many years been looking after his younger sister, Kelly, who is afflicted with many different disabilities, both mental and physical. He is a kind, loving man, well-deserving of love, and it was Nozomi’s task to convince him of that fact. She was doing very well, having paired him with a sweet woman named Julia, when the attack came.
Danit tells me that it was a creature called a Cynic, one of the Fallen. I did not know, before today, that our lost siblings had differing natures and powers, but it makes sense. Is it not the same way with angels? Cupids, Healers, Gathers, Guardians—we distinguish ourselves by our purposes. Or should I say, we divide ourselves?
I admit, I am angry that we did not know this before. I know that that is rebellion against the Plan and Wisdom of the Father-King, but if Nozomi had known what to expect, she might not have been caught unawares.
A Cynic, then, is a Fallen whose weapon is doubt. It deals anxiety and steals confidence, making its victims question everything they see and feel. This particular specimen was drawn to Kelly’s weaknesses and attacked her while Nozomi was nearby. Despite her lack of eyes to see the creature, Nozomi sensed it coming—a mark of her own remarkable sensitivity, for only Guardians and Sentries are given the power to see and hunt the Fallen.
Nozomi, who by this point loved Kelly as dearly as she loved Craig and Julia, stood between the woman and the creature, and suffered its attack in her stead.
I have said before that there are poisons on the Earth that can harm angels. Certainly the weapons of the Fallen hurt us, and doubt is one of those weapons. Nozomi’s faith has been crippled, rendering her incapable of trusting in the goodness that surrounds her and that is in herself. Such an inward-turned wound cannot fully be healed even by the strongest Healers, though they have certainly tried.
Danit wept when she told me the story. So did I on hearing it.
Knowing this, now, I am amazed that Nozomi has been as strong as she has been. I have felt the indifferent crushing weight of the Stolen Earth—how much worse to bear the shadow of intentional cruelty on one’s spirit! That trauma, that ghost in her, and yet she can still stand in the presence of her brothers and sisters, can still consider the possibility of returning to her work—I am in awe.
Danit says that she hopes that I can be of some help. Both my willingness to work with my juniors and my knowledge of brokenness in humans may give me an understanding of Nozomi’s trouble, she believes, that the Healers do not have.
Here is where I would normally express my modesty, but I will not allow any shadow of doubt to touch me. I will help my sister, whatever it takes, however long of a task it is. Whatever weapons I must take up—courage, hope, faith, love—I will give them all to Nozomi, and may the Father-King be my witness, I will enable her to heal herself at last.