When I had heard Nozomi’s story, I spoke some very bold words, born out of my anger and determination. I still feel those things, but now also I know that the task that is before me will not be an easy one. Nozomi has been avoiding me—I know this because I have more than once tried to find her, and felt her fleeing from my presence. I do not wish to frighten or overwhelm her, and so I have not pursued her. Still, it worries me.
Kuya tells me that she is still reluctant to take on Jesse and Ramona’s case. She has not been to see them, and while my seniors assure me she has not yet requested to be removed from the assignment, she has also not made any motion to take on the work. I wish I could speak to her, to know what she is thinking and perhaps to help her, but I cannot do that if she does not wish it.
I have spoken to Inca, my Guardian friend, about the nature of the Fallen, and specifically of Cynics. She grew rather grave when I mentioned the name and had explained how I knew it. “Cynics are nasty little beasts,” she said. “They don’t seem dangerous, but their influence stays with the victim far longer than even they realize. Faith is the foundation of who we are—not just faith in the Father-King, but also in one’s family, one’s self-worth, even in one’s own thoughts, opinions, and feelings. When those things become unsure, it can be as if one is on sinking sand.”
I asked her if she had any ideas on how to cope with such things, but she could not say, having never dealt directly with a Cynic. “It is not my place to face the Fallen; that is for Cherubs and those who carry the Lower Eye. And even for them, their role is to prevent such things from happening, not to cope with them when they have.”
Brid also has no sure advice, though she has promised to ask her seniors for me. Her best suggestion was to have patience and give assurance to the afflicted as often as necessary. “Time won’t be enough to cure something like this on its own, because in the passage of time can be found loneliness and confirmation of all one’s fears. I think that you must prove that you can be trusted, even to one who cannot trust herself.”
I would like to do this for Nozomi, of course. But first I must find her.