I do worry sometimes that the period of time in which I am absent from my charges for the holiday celebrations in heaven will have negative impact on them. Usually it is not the case—Danit has told me that the Readers watch carefully in the weeks before and warn any angels whose charges are at risk during that time, and those angels do not attend worship. I received no such warning, so I know that nothing happened during this time that I cannot repair. But I do wish that I might have been able to keep a closer eye on Gabrielle and Nick.
The holiday was hard on them both. Though they talked and came to something of a peace on Christmas Eve, they argued again a week later when both Nick’s family and Gabrielle’s invited them to celebrate New Year’s. Nick said that since they had Gabrielle’s family there in town, they should join his family, and she retorted that she didn’t want to drive that distance just to stay up late watching TV, to which Nick replied that maybe they shouldn’t go anywhere at all—I am reciting this secondhand, but it was harsh enough at the time to still be vivid in their minds.
Since then there has been tension thick as cold soup between the two of them. They hardly speak, moving around one another in wide circles, and trying to ignore one another. I have done what I could in the past few days to break down this distance, but it would have taken many more days to get through to them. Sometimes, then, it is better to react a bit more sharply.
Today Gabrielle came home after a very long day—a three-hour class, volunteering at the health center, and then a shift at work—to find Nick with his feet up on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. The sight did not please her, and it did not take much persuasion to get her to say something.
“Don’t tell me that’s what you’ve been doing all day.”
Nick looked up, surprised—he hadn’t realized how late it was. “Oh, no. I went out to dinner with Rob and Louis.”
Gabrielle let her bag fall to the floor with a loud thump, startling Walter, who had been dancing around her feet. “Wasn’t it your turn to cook tonight?”
“Was it?” Nick frowned at her. “Well, you weren’t here.”
“Still, you could have made me something.” She collapsed onto the sofa face-first, groaning. “I’m starving.”
Nick started to reply sarcastically, but I leaned in close, urging him to look at his wife. She really did look tired, with her hair falling out from its braid and her face drawn. His irritation faded before it had really arrived. He reached down and pulled her feet into his lap. “There’s leftovers from yesterday,” he said. “Want me to heat them up for you?”
“Oh, what a kind and altruistic offer,” Gabrielle grumbled. “Let me throw something in the microwave for you. Husband of the year.”
I myself was irritated with her for a moment. This was the first kind offer that Nick had made since the year began, and there she was throwing it aside. It took several urgent words to keep Nick from throwing her feet off his lap and storming into the bedroom.
Fortunately, I found the right ones. “She is your wife,” I reminded him. “You promised to take care of her.”
He studied her face, his scowl softening as I reminded him of their wedding day, how beautiful she had seemed, how happy they had both been. How much he loved her, and loves her still.
He set the boots on the floor and began to rub her feet. “Gabby, I’ve been thinking,” he said slowly.
“Mm,” she said, too absorbed in the relief of the massage.
“I don’t know that I want to go back to school.”
That caught her attention. Gabrielle sat up, blinking at him. “What? But you’ve only got one year left!”
“I know, but…” He shook his head, keeping his eyes on her toes. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure PT is for me.”
Gabrielle pulled her feet from his grasp and curled them under her so she could sit right next to him. “Nick, you would be great at physical therapy. You’ve always been interested in it. There has to be something else bringing this on.”
Nick didn’t say anything, but Gabrielle read the silence fairly well even without my help.
“Oh,” she said, and slid back a bit. “This has to do with me, doesn’t it?”
He reached out and took her hand. “With us,” he corrected her gently. “And yes. I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot lately.” He looked into her eyes and said, “I don’t like fighting with you, Gabby.”
She looked down. “So why do it?” she asked, but her voice was gentle, too.
It made him smile. “Because you make me crazy. Because I can’t think when I’m around you. Because I always thought it would be easy to be married to you, and it’s a little disappointing that it’s not.”
Gabrielle pulled her hand from his. “Well, sorry I’m a disappointment.” She stalked off to the kitchen, closely followed by a hungry puppy and her husband.
“That’s not what I meant,” Nick said. “What I’m saying is—I want to be able to put more energy into this marriage.” He caught her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “I want to have time to learn more about you, to figure out what you need and to take care of you.”
It was hard even for Gabrielle to argue with that.
He ran his knuckles down her cheek. “You are the most important thing in my life,” he whispered. “I just want to set my priorities straight.”
Finally, Gabrielle’s eyes warmed, and she allowed him to pull her close and kiss her. Still, a part of her was uncertain, and she wound her arms around Nick’s neck. “I just don’t love you giving up on your dream,” she said.
He shrugged. “I’ve actually thought about that too. See, you have two more years to go, and they’re going to be busy years—”
“Don’t remind me,” she groaned, leaning harder on him so that he staggered back.
He laughed and nudged her upright so he could see her face. “But see, once you’ve graduated, you’ll have more time. I can always go back to school then, and it’ll be your turn to take care of me.” He grinned and reached for her waist. “Unless there’s someone else for us both to take care of by then?”
His tone was suggestive and hopeful, but a spike of panic rose in Gabrielle at the implication of a child. She is not ready, I know that. But that was not a conversation I wanted them to have now, right when they have finally found a peace between them.
Walter provided the perfect distraction, pawing at Gabrielle’s feet and whining.
Nick chuckled and scooped him up, ruffling his ears. “Not that we don’t have a baby already,” he said and deposited the squirming puppy into Gabrielle’s arms.
She smiled and kissed his nose. “You’re the only baby I have time for right now,” she murmured. Then she looked up at Nick. “You’re sure about this, then?”
“I am,” he said, smiling at her. “And we’re good?”
Gabrielle didn’t hesitate. She leaned forward and kissed Nick on the cheek. “We’re good,” she said.
And they are, although they do still have work to do, I know. But with both of them willing to do that work, and the help of one loving puppy and one stubborn angel, they cannot help but succeed.