Adnar’el once observed to me that trying to help a struggling marriage is like dragging both partners up a slippery slope—one tries to go one way, the second another, and you are always just one wrong step from tumbling down all together. I can see now that he was right. Gabrielle and Nick fought again this evening, and some things were said that cut both of them deeply.
It started when Gabrielle was going to be late returning home—there was an accident on the highway, so she was stuck in traffic. She called Nick to ask him to walk Walter, and he said that he would, but he was in the middle of a game when she called, so he lost track of time.
Young Abeer is to be commended for her sensitivity. Others of my watchers may not have seen trouble in such an innocent exchange. Abeer, however, has paid almost as close attention to Gabrielle and Nick as I have, and she knew the danger. Thanks to her, I arrived just moments before Gabrielle did.
The moment Gabrielle stepped into the apartment and took a deep breath, she knew what was wrong. “Nick?” she called, looking around on the floor. “Did you take Walter out?”
Nick had already paused the game and quickly switched off the monitor—he, too, scented danger. “No, hon, I was just about to,” he said.
Gabrielle let her bag fall onto the sofa, her mouth tightening. “Too late,” she said flatly—she had spotted the little puddle on the kitchen floor.
By the time Nick arrived in the kitchen, she was already cleaning up the mess. Nick hesitated, Walter hovering behind his ankles, both of them guilty and anxious. “Do you want me to get that?” he asked finally.
It was already done, and Gabrielle looked up, her eyes hot. “No, of course not,” she said, throwing the paper towels into the trash with some force. “Don’t let me disturb you. You’ve had a busy day of—what exactly is it that you’ve been doing?”
Nick thought of his video game, and his guilt intensified. “I’m sorry, Gabby. I really did forget.”
“Of course you did.” Gabrielle scooped up the puppy and showered his nose with kisses. “No, sweetheart, I’m not mad at you. You participate in this household.”
This made Nick stiffen, but Gabrielle swept out of the apartment, saying carelessly that it wasn’t fair for Walter to miss his exercise anyway. She slammed the door behind her, leaving an atmosphere of tension and rising anger.
In vain I tried to persuade Nick to be conciliatory—he was offended by her sharpness and her implications. It was equally impossible to get Gabrielle to cool down, for not only had it been a bad day, but she was angry with Nick for not taking care of Walter. By the time she got back, both of them were ready for the fight.
“You know, he’s not my dog,” Nick said as Gabrielle returned.
She stopped short. “He’s our dog,” she said. “And all I asked you to do was walk him—”
“It wasn’t my idea to get a stupid dog!”
Gabrielle clenched her teeth at the reminder of that early argument of theirs. “Well, he’s been here for months now, and he does more around here than you do, so the least you could do is take him out to the green so he can use the bathroom.”
“And that’s another thing,” Nick said, following her into their bedroom. “Just what do you mean I don’t do enough around here? I quit school so I would have time—”
“For me?” Gabrielle threw her coat into the closet and whirled on him. “I didn’t ask you to do that, Nick, but hell, if you’re going to do it, do it right! You could at least clean the place once in a while—”
“What am I, your housewife?”
“Well, if the glass slipper fits,” she snapped, sitting down to pull off her own shoes.
“Oh, now that’s just—”
By this point I was as frustrated with them as they were with one another. I spread my wings, clasping them close and cutting short the stream of angry words. “Yelling will get you nowhere,” I said, sharp and stern. “Talk to each other.”
Nick shoved a hand through his hand. “I’m here, Gabby,” he said. “And okay, I have been playing a lot of video games and going out with my friends. But when you’re here, I’m here. And that’s the problem.”
She looked up, surprised. “What are you talking about?”
He spread his hands. “I’ve made you dinner three times this week and you’ve hardly looked at me. You cancelled our date night this week because you had homework. And I don’t need to tell you that we haven’t…” He struggled with words for a moment, then looked pointedly at the bed she was sitting on. “Not more than once a week since Christmas.”
Gabrielle hurriedly got up. “Are you really choosing now to complain that you’re not getting enough sex?”
I caught him before he could get angry again, restraining Gabrielle’s emotions at the same moment. “Listen,” I commanded her.
Nick sucked in a breath and took her hands. “I’m here, Gabby. But you’re not. You’re not trying.”
She stared at him. “Nick, I am so busy—”
“I know,” he said, and his irritation softened at the deep weariness in her face. He pushed a strand of dark hair out of her face. “I know you are, baby. But this is our future we’re talking about. And I need you to try. I need you to be here. I want you to be here, with me.” He shook his head and smiled sadly. “Otherwise what the hell did we get married for?”
“He is right,” I murmured into Gabrielle’s ear. “He cannot carry this relationship alone. He does not need much—but he does need some help from you.”
Finally, the anger went out of the room. Gabrielle sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. “You’re right. It’s not fair of me to expect you to do all the work here. I’ve just been so on the run…” She shook her head. “But I shouldn’t be running from you, too.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “You were the one who said I was your refuge,” he said softly. “Let me do my job.”
She nodded, sliding her arms around his waist. They stood together in silence for a moment.
“I’m sorry I said that thing about glass slippers,” she said after a minute.
He laughed and nodded. “And I’m sorry I didn’t take Walter out.”
She stepped back, some of the brightness returning to her eyes. “Don’t apologize to me,” she said and scooped up the puppy, never far away from her when she is home. She held him up to Nick’s face, which Walter immediately began washing.
So the evening ended with laughter and puppy kisses, but it might so easily have gone the other way. I’m rather surprised at how effective my frustration was in helping me to reach them. Perhaps I will have to try that again sometime. I certainly hope that I won’t have reason to, but I think these two will fight again, and more than once, before they come to a true peace with one another. Still, I will not leave them until they have.